No seriously, SCRAP IT.
I’ve done my best to plan out the next couple months of my life because that’s what has always made me feel comfortable. I like knowing what’s going on. I’m no type-A personality who loves getting into the details, but I like to have a rough idea. I also like to stick to that rough idea.
Sometimes I’m not sure if that’s truly me or if that’s really my anxiety talking. Either way, it’s about to be put to the test. Because despite my best efforts to put some predictability into place, nothing has gone that way.
If this is your first time here, let me catch you up in one quick sentence: my partner and I are selling everything we own and travelling with our dogs for the next half year. (You can read more about the journey towards this in May and June updates).
We’ve changed where we’re going. We’ve changed when we’re going. We’ve even changed how we’re going. We’ve gone back and forth about converting a van, we even started converting a trailer. And guess what? It got scraped. We insulated and sold it.
It can’t say I’ve felt great about the way things have been going. I don’t handle change well. But today was the first day I finally felt okay with everything. The thought of getting rid of all my things finally feels freeing. The fact that we’re unsure of exactly where we’ll be and when – I’m okay with it. The idea of giving up control over everything and ultimately trying to let go (to the point where I’m extremely uncomfortable), I’m coming to terms with it. I’m finally good.
Who knew that doing something so wonderful could be so hard? But watching myself come out on the other side of all of this is pretty cool. I can feel that I’m growing, and I’m looking forward to meeting the person I’m bound to become.
I’ve been dropping off boxes at goodwill, consigning clothes, and giving things away. There isn’t too much left to do, in the grand scheme of things. And thank goodness, because in less than a month, I’ll be technically homeless.
But you know that expression: home is where the heart is? I will know it to be true. Because as long as I have Matthew and our two doggy babes, I will know I am home – no matter where in the heck we end up.
A part of me wishes I could give more of an explanation, but I can’t because there is not much to say. We’ll be leaving town in just over a month, camping as we go and figuring it all out along the way. I would still love to convert a trailer or a van one day, but when time is of the essence…
You and me, we’re taking quite the roller coaster together with these updates. I can’t promise you anything – except that I will continue to be transparent in my updates and always keep 100% honesty between us.
Okay, hugs! If you have any questions do ask me in the comments below!
Wish me luck in my last month of normality!