February Update P1 -Turning 30 & Stuff

Okay, I’m going to be honest… we just skipped right over January. We just skipped right over it, and we’re not looking back. Obviously life has been a whirlwind and I’ve let my posts slide, but that’s the life of a blogger sometimes. And once you read all about February part 1 and 2, you’ll understand why.

Let’s just jump in fresh with February, which was kind of a big deal.

On February 9th, I turned 30. There’s nothing like a milestone birthday to help you freak out a little – am I right?? Or maybe that’s just me.

I love birthdays. Unfortunately, it has to be someone else’s birthday. I actually despise my own birthday. I know that sounds negative-Nancy but damnit, it’s true. Going back as far as I can remember, I look back on how my anxiety builds up until my birthday and then that day, I crash and burn.

I know it has a lot to do with pressure/plans/expectations that surround birthdays, and not necessarily the getting older itself. I’m actually enjoying getting older. Instead of constantly questioning who I am, I am finally moving into the stage of sinking into who I know I am. It feels great.

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Although I might come across as a person who is sure of myself, I am actually not really that person. But in the past few months I have come to question myself less, and I also think that comes with the territory of getting older. For that I am grateful.

Having a twin makes a birthday cooler too – it helps me focus on celebrating someone else instead of narrowly focusing on myself. I know she had a good one, and that matters to me so much more than my own birthday ever could – even if it happens to be on the same day under the same mother!

But as happy as I was to have turned 30, a part of me was restless for a shift. Well let’s get real… when this year haven’t I been?

Just a few weeks ago, my routine was nothing to strive for. Working at home alone, I would wake up at 5 am (ish) and drink coffee for an hour before starting work for the day. I’d been concentrating on my freelance writing, so I would write from about 6-10 or 11 am. Then I would go to the grocery store and come home, followed by work for another couple of hours. Around 4 I would begin making dinner, and by the time I cooked, cleaned, and showered it would be around 7 pm. I would relax for 2 hours and go to bed.

Sometimes I would hit the gym, although not nearly as much as I should have been. Sometimes I would visit with friends, but working at home alone had made me become more and more reclusive and solitary. This is the pattern I fell into, but not necessarily one that served me.

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It wasn’t really that bad, but it wasn’t necessarily good. I would say I felt about 78% happy.

78%!!!!!

Where was my other 22%??

I’m not one to settle into a situation where I think that things could be better.

After talking about it with Matthew, we realized we felt the same.

When we came back to Calgary a few months ago, our only plan was to have no plan – to find our grounding and figure out where the universe called us next.

I can tell you we stayed true to that. Matthew expressed interest in some jobs on the west coast. I began looking also. Self employment has been wonderful to me, but it’s also challenging.

Working alone comes with a level of uncertainty that never goes away. Because there is no physical barrier between my down time and my work time (being that it all happens in the same place – at home) I constantly stress about working. I’ve also gotten lonely over the past few months – I miss having someone around to talk to. I didn’t decide outright to just find a job – any job, but I decided that I was willing to look and accept one if I felt it was the right fit and change for me…

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I guess Matthew and I both found what we were looking for in Vancouver, and in just a few short weeks our whole life would turn upside down (again) as we packed up and moved to Vancouver.

Funnily enough, I already had a sisters weekend planned in Vancouver the weekend of February 22nd. This vacation would become a STAYcation, and I would never board that plane back to Calgary.

It’s felt like it’s all been happening on a whim, I don’t think I’ve even fully absorbed it yet.

I can’t wait to tell you guys more in Part 2 – where I’ll explain more about my amazing sisters weekend, new career path, what I think of it here in Van, and what the plan is next.

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned!

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Hey everyone! Writing to you here from Calgary, Alberta. I love wholesome, healthy food, lifting weights, and all the spiritual and physical challenges of life. I'm wellness obsessed, and that's what I'm hear to talk about. I'll be taking a holistic mind-body-soul approach to include all important aspects related to a healthy well being. Let's go!

2 thoughts on “February Update P1 -Turning 30 & Stuff

  1. Happy belated birthday, Jen! 30 looks ah-may-zing on you! And I’ll say I’m the same way as you. I love when it’s someone else’s bday wayyyy more than my own. I just love the excuse to go out to eat for mine & that’s about it, lol. And congrats on the huge move! It sounds like a great choice & I wish you allll the best there. Thanks for the update!

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