I am an open book. You don’t have to guess with me. If I’m sad, you’ll see it. If I’m happy, I show it. If I’m angry, oh gosh you’ll know it.
If something important happens in my life, the people in my life always hear about it.
But I’ve been noticing a trend lately, that sadly in some ways makes me feel like I might regret sharing the trials and tribulations of life with those in my circle.
Here’s what’s up:
I am finding that when I share challenges with friends and family, they are quick to become ‘fixers‘. They jump straight into giving me advice on how I should get out of said situation. They get right into telling me how I need to take action!
It’s strange to me to assume that I don’t know how to get out of a challenge in my life just because I’m sharing it with someone.
Honestly, I just need to vent. I just need someone to say “ya that sucks” or “OMGGGGG” or “tell me more” or “thank you for sharing”. I need active listening. I need to speak to be heard.
I don’t need another person to be my solution.
You know, even in crises, big or small, I still manage to keep my wits about me. I can still think creatively and come up with an action plan.
When I tell someone what’s going on with me and they automatically go into fixing-mode, it really turns me off from sharing with them. It makes me feel as though they are completely skipping over really hearing me. It makes me feel like they don’t care enough to hear the whole story, they just want to throw solutions at me until I stop talking about it.
I know it’s not their fault. The onus is on me to let people know what I need from them. I am definitely getting better at creating understanding and boundaries with others.
There will be times in my life where I need help and advice. I find no shame in this and will absolutely ask for these things when I need them. Otherwise all I need is an ear.
I need space to share my story.
Grant me that and I will be forever grateful!
Thank you readers for ‘listening’ today!