It’s normal to have high hopes when you meet someone new – be it a romantic or platonic relationship. Kind of exciting, isn’t it?
Will they like you? Will you like them? What should you wear? Maybe you’ve finally found someone with whom to go axe throwing, or snow shoeing, or join that fantasy book club with you! You know – whatever it is you do.
You really don’t know what’s going to happen – maybe you’ll hit it off, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll only meet every once in a while, maybe you’ll be inseparable. Maybe you’ll have a heart wrenching falling out, or maybe over months and years, you will just drift away.
The point here is, you don’t know. You have to take a chance in order to find out. It’s a leap of faith – with each and every new connection.
Sometimes, you don’t get a return on your investment. Hey, don’t worry, we’ve all been there!
When someone doesn’t turn out to be the person we had hoped, it’s hard. I speak only for myself when I say I’ve had “friend breakups” that absolutely rocked me to my core. And amidst all the emotions I felt, the biggest one was anger.
Because I felt like the loss of their friendship was ALL. MY. FAULT. I would spend hours agonizing, wondering what I had done wrong. Why was this happening to me ?
I immediately internalized the entire experience as something that was all a result of me, completely forgetting that there was a whole other person involved.
So if it doesn’t work out, does that mean the other person hates you? Maybe. But just entertain this: there could be other reasons why they haven’t made time for you, or why you drifted. Maybe they are dealing with mental health issues. Maybe their significant other doesn’t like you. Maybe you guys just aren’t on the same page anymore. That last one is honestly and truly completely normal, as much as most people hate to admit when it’s happening to them.
People change, people including you. You need room to grow, and perhaps so do they.
And if that is of no comfort to you, just know that it’s true what they say: some people aren’t meant to stay in your life.
We meet everyone for a reason. Sometimes it really is for true companionship. Other times, it’s simply a lesson. Like it or not, good or bad, you learned something from that experience with that person.
You can’t hate on that.
Regardless of where the relationship went, you got something from it. You learned. Improved maybe even!
People will disappoint you – relationships of all varieties will flounder and fail. Make the most of them when they last, and don’t forget to take something from them when you’re done.
And it’s probably not all your fault.
And you’re always going to be okay.
Thanks for reading!