Chickpea Vegetable Curry

Everyone has their comfort food – that dish they turn to when they’re feeling especially worn down or in need of something cozy. That dish, for me, has not changed for the past 4 years; every time I’m in that mood, I always make my Chickpea Vegetable Curry.

Curry isn’t one of those dishes I have nostalgic ties to. We didn’t grow up on it as kids – it something I was even introduced to in my childhood or teens. Actually, my love for curry began on a trip about 10 years ago to Thailand. I was introduced to all different types of curry, and other ingredients I had barely known before. It sparked my tastebuds, and I haven’t looked back since!

Despite having relied on this meal heavily (and I mean HEAVILY) over the past few years, I haven’t shared it. In my mind, I guess I just thought, “no one cares about your boring EASY curry Jen!!!”. But then I realized, a quick, super yummy, warm but not too spicy, easy to throw together curry is exactly what the world needs. So here we are.

The great thing about curry is that we all have our own special ways of making it. I think I add some touches that really might charm you – and your tastebuds – so I hope you’ll try it out!

Like almost all of my recipes – this is easy. There is some prep work involved, but the rest is pretty straightforward and hands-off. It’s great to put together if you’ve had a long day, and you really just want to throw a healthy meal together that is basically just going to cook itself.

This recipe is gluten free and vegan


  • 1 can chickpeas, soaked and drained
  • 2 cups vegetable broth
  • 1 can full-fat coconut milk
  • 3/4 cup carrots, diced
  • 1/4 purple onion, diced
  • 3/4 cup zucchini, diced
  • 1 can water chestnuts
  • 1/3 cup frozen peas
  • 3 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 thumb of ginger, minced
  • 1.5-2 TSP red curry paste, to preference
  • 1 TBSP Coconut Oil
  • 1 lime, quartered
  • Green Onion and/or cilantro, to garnish


Start with a medium-sized pot, and set the stovetop to medium temperature. Melt the 1 TBSP coconut oil. Add in carrots and onion, and stir for about 3-4 minutes. The carrots should be starting to cook through. Add the zucchini, minced garlic, minced ginger, and stir for another 2 minutes.

Then add your curry paste, chickpeas, water chestnuts, coconut milk, and vegetable broth – yep, all at once. Throw ’em (not literally) all in! Turn the stovetop down to medium-low, and let simmer for 25 minutes. You know, give those flavours some time to dance together. After 25 minutes, mix in your frozen peas and turn the stove off.

Now this curry is ready to serve! But wait – this last step is so small, and so crucial. Garnish with green onion or cilantro, if you like it – but this is the crucial part: squeeze in some lime!

Trust me on this one – this step perfectly tops off all of the other flavours. You can squeeze an entire lime into the pot, but I like to take the quarter pieces and squeeze them in once the soup is in a bowl.

A little black pepper never hurt either, so don’t be afraid to crack some of that on top. Brace yourself – this is gonna be amazing!

Now as you can see, I’ve added something a little extra to my dish here and I highly recommend it as a curry side-kick: sourdough bread! Perfectly toasted, AMAZING for dipping.

One more tip: don’t be shy with that curry paste if you want to go all the way. I usually put in between 1.5-2 tsp, but you can totally add in 2-3 if that’s more your thing.

There’s nothing better than making a batch of this for dinner and enjoying leftovers for lunch! There’s something about this Chickpea Vegetable Curry that’s even better the next day.

This Chickpea Veg Curry is all about taste, but the nutritional benefits are clear too: lots of fibre, chickpeas provide essential amino acids, the garlic is antimicrobial, and the full-fat coconut milk provides a satiating mouthful of healthy fats.

This recipe is really near and dear to my heart, so if you decide to try it definitely let me know! Tag me on Instagram, or comment below and let me know what you thought.

I’m also curious to know if you ever make curry as well, or if you have a favourite kind! Feel free to share.

Enjoy this Chickpea Vegetable Curry! I know I will be!

Anxiety Roller Coaster: The Least Fun Ride Ever

When I was 16 years old, I had my first panic attack. Not a feeling of panic, but a full blown, out-of-my-own-reality panic attack. I felt the intense weight of the depersonalization and derealization as the world seemed to slip away from me. I’ve never been the same since. I’ve been struggling with some pretty intense anxiety for the past 10 years. For the most part it would come and go. I’ve had really good weeks, and really bad weeks. On some occasions it’s been so awful that I became agoraphobic. Anxiety has kept me from meeting new people, taking healthy risks, getting the grades in school I was worthy of, and even getting my drivers license.



More recently the experience has been more akin to waking up on the wrong side of the bed. I feel so wrong and uncomfortable, but I can’t explain why. The little things bother me, the really little things, like having to get cream for my coffee, or not having my clothes hanging in the closet ‘just-so’. When things don’t go ‘according to plan’ – this has also historically been a big trigger for me, as well as being exhausted or hungry. Needless to say, I’ve felt pretty vulnerable.

Anxiety is a slow build up. It’s like the rise before you get to the top of the largest hill on the roller-coaster. You hear the slow clicks as you ascend closer and closer to the top. You know exactly what’s coming. But you can’t stop it. Suddenly it’s that moment before the drop – the beginning of the panic attack – the adrenaline rushing through your veins. Fear takes over, you are in fight or flight mode; feeling like your life is in jeopardy. But it’s not. You’re just walking the dog, or getting bread at the store, washing the dishes, or riding a roller coaster.

It is likely I have some genetic predisposition for anxiety and panic attacks. Of course there are environmental factors at play too. For a long time I felt that it was an inevitable part of life, and the only way to deal with it would be to smother it with alcohol or prescription medication. One day I changed my mind, and I decided that I would figure out how to live life in such a way that my anxiety would always be manageable.

I found a way. Self-care is extremely important when it comes to managing anxiety. I know what gets me in a bad space and I avoid those situations. These are the following changes I have made to better manage my anxiety:

  • Sleep. Specifically, getting more of it. I know that when I’m tired I simply do not function well. I’m not talking about just being a little sleepy. I get complete brain fog, and I can’t think properly. And not thinking properly is a recipe for disaster. I need at least 7 hours a night!
  • Exercise. It’s good for the body and the mind. It gives me a healthy outlet for any of my negative feelings. And exercise releases good endorphins into your body, physically making you feel good!
  • Limiting Refined Carbs. A lot of people with anxiety aren’t aware that there is a long list of foods that can trigger anxiety. I found this out in a very round about way: I cut out refined carbs during my last cut, and I saw a noticeable decrease in my anxiety. In general I had a greater sense of well-being and more balanced moods.
  • Spending time with positive people. It’s the worst to spend hours and hours in a downward spiral of negativity. Energy is contagious. It’s important to be around people who want to talk about hopes, dreams, and possibilities. Not people who will get you thinking about all the difficulties of life.
  • Limiting Alcohol. I don’t go out partying like I did before (I’m getting old now anyways). In the moment I always feel great. It’s the next day when my body is recovering and all out of whack that I struggle with my moods. One night out every one in a while is okay. Binge drinking every weekend is not an option for me.
  • Relaxing, or “me time”. This one has always, always been hard for me. Sometimes I have to force myself to sit down and relax. But I absolutely need to do it. I need to stop and hold time every once in a while, whether that means sitting down for a movie with my significant other or taking a half hour at the coffee shop to read, I take downtime now.

The worst thing about having anxiety is when it disrupts your relationships. Yes, I’ve cancelled plans with friends before because I wasn’t practicing proper self-care and just felt overwhelmed with anxiety. I’ve lashed out at people I love because I didn’t know how to deal with the feelings I was having inside. No one should have to live that way. Anxiety is a cruel monster, and I won’t let it creep up on me anymore. I have daily practices in place to keep my anxiety under control, and when I follow those guidelines to a T I’m at my very best. No panic attacks. This is my way of beating anxiety – the natural way – so I can bring my best foot forward every day and live a happy, healthy, and full life.

10 Ways to Relieve Stress that AREN’T Total Bullsh*t

This is not your cookie-cutter stress relief list; you know, the one that said take a bath and smell some fresh lavender and all your problems will go away?

This list came from the need to see something more realistic. I’ve looked up natural remedies for stress on the internet and I’m tired of seeing the same thing over and over again. I’m stressed out ok? Maybe I don’t have the wherewith-all to practice any of those obvious self-care techniques.

So I guess this list was also made out of a need to just simply see something different.

And I promise you this list is different.



10 Ways to relieve stress that aren’t total bullsh*t! 

  1. Destroy something. It doesn’t have to be anything valuable, it can be something as simple as a cardboard box. Take it outside into your back alley and destroy it. Stomp on it, punch it, crush it. I’m not advocating violence here: do NOT, I repeat, do NOT use the techniques on a person. Make sure it’s a non-living object; one you won’t miss. Get rid of all that pent up negative energy. Obliterate the thing.
  2. Watch funny videos on youtube. Distraction is actually an amazing technique when it comes to stress and depression. Is this video of harmless pranks going to cure your problems? Nope. Are you going to forget them for a minute or two and have a laugh? Yep.
  3. Cry. Give yourself 100% freedom to go ahead and have one big giant sloppy cryfest. Maybe you’ve been holding those tears in for too long. That’s probably not good for you! It’s okay to let it out.
  4. Waffles. Eat some waffles. Scientific studies show that it’s impossible to be sad while eating buttery, syrup soaked waffles (studies were self-administered).
  5. Sing at the top of your lungs. Remember that album by that band that you really loved in high school and still believe is pure gold? Well the first chance you get to have the house to yourself, play it loud. Sing your heart out! Go to that place the music takes you. And in that moment, nothing matters more than putting on a good show for your non-existent audience.
  6. Hug someone who is a really good hugger. We all have that one person in our lives who has that extraordinary hugging power. Find them and allow them to put their skills to good use.
  7. Watch your guilty-pleasure movie. You know, that one that is so bad it’s kinda good? I always go back to the same movie when I’m going through a rough time, mine is “Dirty Love“, it’s fantastically horrible and ridiculous. It takes about 0% brain power to watch – that’s the kind of movie that you need at a time like this.
  8. Make a list of all the things you are going to do. You don’t even actually have to do anything on the list. No, you’ve accomplished enough today by simply making the list. Time to relax.
  9. Look at travel destinations. This will make it a lot easier to pretend that you’re not even actually where you are. Maybe you’re in the Bahamas, maybe you’re in Laos! Maybe you’ll make secret plans to run away so you don’t have to deal with your problems. Sometimes even just knowing that’s an option makes people feel better. Plus, pictures of beaches and oceans are awesome.
  10. Go in the mirror and smile and laugh at how ridiculously overwhelmed you are. Like, dear god, is this some kind of sick joke?! It must be and I get it because Im laughing now! In all seriousness, you either laugh or you cry sometimes. I prefer to laugh like a madwoman at those times. And thats okay.

Whatever gets you through those tough times is okay. And these solutions don’t have to be “fixes”, you know why? Because your storm will pass. You will have made it through one teeny-tiny step at a time. And like me, you won’t bother googling stress relief ideas until the wave comes over you again.

Take care everyone!

Why Food Prep is Paramount for your Goals

This is going to be a great discussion. Who doesn’t love to talk about food? Food preparation is so important when it comes to creating an efficient wellness routine, especially if you are working towards a specific goal.

Why is food prep so important?

Firstly, it gives you control over what you are eating. I know exactly what’s in my food: I made it. I don’t count calories or macros, so I focus on making good quality, nutrient-dense food. I know the oil my food was cooked in, I know what’s in the sauce, I know when it was made. It keeps me invested in what I’m putting in my body. Forget eating mindlessly –  I created this food!

Doing meal prep also helps to ensure that I’m including the valuable nutrients that I need. On the days that I feel like I’m dragging, I make sure my food is full of the vitamins and minerals I need to stay on my feet. I can also make sure I have the amount of carbs, protein, and healthy fats in each meal required to keep me, as an individual, at my very best.

I’m currently bulking up – the goal right now is absolutely positively to gain weight. So yes, in theory I could go out and eat all the pizza, french fries, and ice cream I want (that dirty bulk). It is prossible that I could reach my own personal goal if I ate out for every meal. So why not? Well it’s not just about quantity, it’s also about quality. I want to make sure I’m putting quality food in my body and ensuring a slight surplus in calories. I want to put on a little weight and feel good. And no, that’s not too much to ask.

Food prep is also an incredible system that you can put in place to prevent you from making a compulsive decision. Think of it as a safety net. Have you ever caught yourself at a restaurant, with every intention of getting something that fits your needs and goals, but instead you go for something totally different? I can’t tell you how many times it’s happened to me!

If you’re prepared and eating your own food, you decrease the chances that you are going to put yourself in a vulnerable situation. If you’re on your way home from work and your dead tired, you might consider stopping for some quick food. But if you have food ready and waiting for you when you get home, then you won’t be discouraged by the thought of cooking.

It’s like that old saying…


Having meals ready also encourages you not to miss one. If you rush out of the house in the mornings, include prepping breakfast. Your body is an engine that requires fuel to keep burning. If you’re not eating, you’re not only going to be tired but your body also lacks the resources it relies on for energy, and you’re going to feel burnt out.

When you get into the habit of not eating for extended periods of time, your brain tells your body that your environment lacks the resources necessary for life. If you are eating under 1,000 calories a day, your brain is going to tell your metabolism to sloooowwww down. Of course, this is your body’s natural reaction to hold onto what little resources it has.

Lastly, food prep is easier on the budget. Eating out isn’t always expensive, but it definitely adds up quickly. Buy on special, cook in bulk, and eat according to your goals!

My favorite things to meal prep are:

  • A fat fueled salad with avocado, nuts, and seeds
  • Tofu Salad Rolls
  • Stir Fry
  • Quinoa Salad

Now you know why Food Prep is important, but you might still be unsure where to start.

Thankfully, I’ve created an Easy-Peasy Meal Prep Guide for just that. The best part? It’s absolutely 100% free. You can download it here. 

Happy Eating!


How to Create Your Dream Core

Defined abdominals aren’t for everyone, you either want them or you don’t. If you DO want them, this post is for you!

Creating a strong core was something I was initially drawn to in fitness – and initially I worked them out during almost every workout. Not only us a stable core important for fitness in general, but I love the way a strong core makes me feel. It took about a year to get where I wanted to be, but my hard work did pay off!

 Current ab situation, a little less lean than usual nut they’re under there!

Abs: The world doesn’t begin and end with them but damn, they are fun.

Here are a few tips to achieving a more defined core:

1. Reduce body fat. Yup. This is why they say “abs are made in the kitchen”. Because you can have great abs, but typically the ultimate goal is usually to have all that hard work become visible. Reducing body fat isn’t easy – it takes a lot of hard work, determination, and usually a lot of meal planning.

2. Be consistent. Whatever your goal is, you’ve got to consciously work on it. If you really want those abs, be consistent in setting time aside to work them out exclusively – at least 2-4 times per week. Also, when it comes to training don’t be afraid to mix it up! If you continue to do the same boring old ab routine, you will be way less inclined to keep up with it. Lastly, don’t forget to engage your core during the rest of your workout routine.

3. Slow movements. What this really comes down to is engaging your core. You want to do slow, controlled movements to get the most out of your workout. Personally, keeping this in mind was a game changer for me. I highly recommend slowing down and really contracting your ab muscles when working them out.

Try adding this quick ab workout onto the end of your routine: 

  • 15 sit-ups
  • 15 leg raises
  • 15 heel touches
  • 15 boat pose

Good luck on getting those abs girl, and all those other goals too.

Tips for Staying Healthy on Vacation

Hey everyone!

I just had the pleasure of taking a trip to Mexico for my big sister’s wedding, which was absolutely phenomenal.


Me, enjoying the last day on the beach!

Since hopping on the wellness train, I hadn’t yet taken a vacation like this. All-inclusive resorts are amazing, but they also create certain conditions in which it’s easy to let your healthy habits go right out the window! So in this post, I would like to share with you just a couple tips for keeping on track on your vacation. And I want you, the reader, to know that these tips will not get in the way of fun on your vacation! In fact, they are more likely to to actually enhance your resort vacation experience.

  1. I know you wanna look cute in your ‘kini, but I advise eating breakfast within half an hour of waking up on and off vacation. It is SO important to eat and keep your metabolism going! Don’t be relying on those sugary blended drinks to give you the energy you need to enjoy your vacay.
  2. Give yourself a sand scrub! Not only is it good for your skin, but it also allows you to take a moment to work on your self-care; that means doing something that is solely for you and your well-being. Truly, this is a practice that we should be integrating into our lives daily. But if it isn’t common practice for you yet, integrating this into your resort vacation experience is a great way to start!
  3. Give the resort gym a try. I know what you’re thinking! I thought I might struggle with this too, but was surprised when I didn’t. Around midday when I needed a break from the sun, I would wander into the gym for a super quick workout – I’m talking like 30-45 minutes only. I found the afternoon to be the best time because that’s when the facility was empty, so I could get through my workout quickly. Staying in this routine also helped me keep my morning drinks in check – because I was set on making it for my quick little workout I didn’t get carried away with the pina coladas too early in the day! Plus when I returned to the beach afterwards, I was happy, pumped, and feeling beautiful!
  4. Take a moment to breathe/spend some time alone. We were with a group of 25 people and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but taking a moment just to clear my mind really helped me center myself. This sounds so simple and silly, but being in the moment is definitely more difficult in practice!
  5. Go ahead and eat dessert. Bet you can’t believe I said it. You’re on vacation! You don’t have to demolish the whole dessert buffet, but if you do who cares. Treat yourself. Crazy restrictions will cause you to binge, and in the end will affect you worse than any treat you allow yourself here and there.

IMG_5618My typical breakfast on vacation; a veggie omelette under a mountain of guacamole and salsaIMG_5453

The best part about making my wellness a priority while on vacation was how good I felt waking up every morning. I also found I had a ton more energy than on previous resort vacations. This wellness journey is so much more about feeling good than looking good.

Happy vacationing my friends!

June 2015 Check-in

Hey Everyone!

It’s time for my very first mid-month check-in! Being that this is the first month, my check in is a little late. Future check-ins will be as close to the 15th as possible. Nevertheless, here it is!

IMG_4849 (2)Improvements: Obliques are looking solid, upper body is getting thicker.

Current Focus: On my legs, which have been very stubborn to grow! Focusing on quad growth and booty gains.

Eating: Following the 80/20 rule and taking the 20 part very seriously. Donuts are a part of my balanced lifestyle. Lack of proper prepping has lead me to drink one too many protein shakes, and actual food is always preferred. Will step up my snack game and include those in my next food prep!

Feeling like: I’m not at my leanest and meanest, but I feel good. I leave for a week vacation in Mexico tomorrow and although I love the idea of having ripped abs in my bathing suit, I also like the idea of maintaining the strength that I have. Food= growth, and growing is more important right now. I can say for sure that this is the happiest I have ever been with my body. But I also know what it’s capable of, and I can’t wait to take it further. I especially cannot wait to see leg comparison pics a couple of months down the road.

Personal Training: A Recount of my Experience

I chugged my redbull and squeezed the can with my hand, lazily tossing it into the garbage can outside the gym. I was arriving to meet with my trainer for the first time. When I got in, we said a quick hello and he lead me into a back office. I evaluated him from my chair across the desk from him. He asked me questions about my fitness goals and current routines. I kept thinking about how young he was. I wondered what someone with such limited experience could possibly teach me. I was also nervous as hell. Anxiety-ridden, exhausted from a long day of work, going through a horrific breakup, and that redbull I just crushed was not helping me.

He checked my heart rate. It was apparently not good. He said “I don’t know if we can start today”. “You don’t understand, this is why I am here today. I’m just going through a rough time… and I need to do this”, I said shaking. He took the bait. Our first workout together was nothing mind-blowingly phenomenal, but I felt that he would be able to teach me some things that would take me further than I could go on my own at this point. At the end, we sat on the mats stretching out. He asked if I wanted to move forward in training with him. My response was to ask him he if wanted to train me. “I’m emotional”, I warned “and some days I’m going to come in here going crazy and you are going to have to deal with that”. That’s honestly where I was at the time – feeling lost and truly, kind of unstable. With cool confidence he assured me he could handle it.

What I didn’t know is that he didn’t actually mean he could handle it. What he meant was that he wasn’t going to take it. There were countless sessions to come where I would show up all emotional, and my trainer would simply say that he didn’t want to hear it, and that I was there to work. For some of you, this might sound cruel. For me, it was a technique that actually worked. It changed the way I worked out in the gym. It forced me to live in a different place in my mind during my workouts. It made me realize that no matter what craziness I had going on in my life, that the gym could be a place of solace.

Over time I began to realize that although our personalities were opposite, they were also complimentary. I was a whiner, complainer, excuse maker. But my trainer never let me say “I can’t”. He taught me that I needed to give up a certain amount of control in my life and I had to accept that. I couldn’t change other people or have control over every situation, but I have control over myself. Because I realized that I have control over myself, I was able to do things I never thought I physically or mentally could before.

He surprised me because for a young guy, because he really had a great knowledge-base, enthusiasm, and passion for what he was doing. He didn’t just tell me what to do, he told me why I was doing it. He pushed me hard in the gym and the results showed. He held me accountable for what I said I would do, but always gave me the credit for the work I did. I’m not saying he was perfect and never pissed me off. I’m not saying that he didn’t work me out so hard that I cried (because he did – haha). I’m saying that he helped me get results. Those results gave me confidence; I realized that if I really set my mind to something and worked hard, I could make it real.

When my training ended it was so anticlimactic. I was expecting some big, monumental, life-changing workout followed by a screen shot of that one single tear dropping from my eye as I left the gym. But it was just like any other ordinary workout. This is, of course, because that was only just the beginning. Over the next couple months my own passion and enthusiasm would send me on a journey of pursuing new skills and knowledge that would allow me to take my fitness routine to the next level.

One of my big goals in training was to be able to do pull-ups. I was naive when I started; I didn’t realize how much was going to be involved in making this happen. So, this wasn’t something I was able to accomplish during my training. But just because that phase was over didn’t mean I was going to quit; I kept working on it. A couple of months later, my trainer saw me at the pull-up bar. I saw him at a distance, and with a smile on my face I jumped and made six pull-ups look easy. He came over and congratulated me on my success, and I said “you don’t know how hard I’ve worked for this” ; his response was “yes I do”.

Well, I guess he was right.


IMG_5971 (2)

My before and after training comparison.


I would recommend training to any gym newbie if it is a financial possibility. I learned a lot, not only about working out but also about myself. It was a huge confidence boost and now I don’t think twice about joining the big boys on the heavy end of the dumbells. I really lucked out because I had a trainer who I was able to level with; someone who I wasn’t afraid to fail and fall in front of. So if you are going to find a trainer, find one that is complimentary to you who will make it their purpose to pull you out of your comfort zone and make you WORK. It was an investment I won’t ever regret.

Should you Start Doing Front Squats?

Hello Strong Babes!

I have been struggling hard for the last year to grow these legs, but they are crazy stubborn, and therefore still my weakest point. Well this week I added a new addition to my leg workouts, and I think it’s going to be a game-changer: Front Squats. 

IMG_4620 (2)

Check out these legs today!

Regular squats are a must-do for leg-day champs. The front squat variation has the weight placed on the shoulders – this forces the quads to do more of the work. This is totally one of those exercises that totally exhausted my central nervous system. I love the intensity and quad activation this variation brings!

Changing up your routine can be good for your body and your mind. Yes- it feels good to mix it up sometimes!

Thinking of trying something new? Try something that surprises your body – it might inspire you to go into overdrive and work that leg-day extra hard.

I followed the front squats with:

  • back or ‘regular’ squats
  • stiff-legged deadlifts
  • calf extension

Now that I’m incorporating these in on leg day, I can’t wait to see my progress a few weeks down the road!

Have you ever done front squats before? What did you think of this variation? Let me know!

How to Deal with Toxic People

We can all level on this one.

We all have, or have had, negative and toxic people in our lives. These are the people who are negative talkers and thinkers. These are the people who don’t support your dreams, or put you down. The people who make you wonder why you make time for them after each instance you part ways. Sometimes, they even sabotage or manipulate you in small ways to hinder your success.

Often these toxic people are also the people you know and love. Your long time friend, your siblings, your mom. And sometimes they can bring you down with the little things – like questioning your choices, hindering your healthy lifestyle changes, or just plain infecting your space with negative energy. Energy is contagious; the more that you surround yourself with negative people and influences, the more negative you yourself will become. So be careful with this one.

I went through this with a friend. I didn’t notice it at first the affect that she had on me, until I realized that every time we parted ways following plans, I never felt good after. About myself. And so, I was forced to evaluate why.

Now I see so clearly that it’s because she tended to stew about negative stuff every time we got together, and talk in circles about it. I suppose I jumped in and spiraled with her , and that’s on me. And interestingly enough, she also made me feel guilty when I made healthy eating choices, criticizing me for not indulging with her… every time.

She put down my goals and dreams; she tried to hold me down – so I wouldn’t fly away.

So what can we do about these people? The short answer… is nothing. You can’t change other people; only how you react to them. You have to learn to silence the noise and follow what you know is right. Don’t allow these people to have such a stronghold over you that they wield the power to severely obstruct your life.

If said toxic person will remain in your life, my advice is this: love them from a distance. I’m not talking about abandoning anyone you care about; I’m talking about taking space and loving them from within the boundaries you have. Speak your mind and let them know where you draw the line between a healthy and unhealthy relationship. In my particular situation, I did fly away.

My friend was not a close friend, and I knew that the best thing for both of us was going to be to part ways; we weren’t a good match.


Despite what we’d like to believe, we don’t have the power to change another person. It’s important to care for yourself and remember your needs. Be good to yourselves – and watch out for those toxic people!