It’s that timeeee it’s that time again! Buckle in for a check-in that’s only slightly longer than my previous. I try to keep things short and sweet but I need to touch base about a couple of things before I get started.
I’m going to make my long story incredibly short, because I plan on getting into the details in a later post. Here we go: I have taken medication which has had varying negative effects on my body. One of those things has lead to my inability to lean out like I had planned. What’s more, I’m actually gaining weight. Easily. I eat pretty healthy and I live an active lifestyle. But that hasn’t hindered my ability to gain 2-5 lbs in one week.
Am I overweight? I don’t know if I could really say that about myself; I am still a “smaller” person. But my relationship with my body is no longer in alignment. It has its own agenda. And for a person who has prided themselves for so long about the close relationship I have with my body, this has been hard on me. The medication should wear off in the next 4-6 weeks and I anxiously await that.
But I digress. I’ll get back to this check in and save the rest for a post later this week!
Improvements: My shoulders have been finally starting to get that capped look, which is something I looked forward to even at the beginning of my fitness journey. I’ve also noticed that my mind-muscle connection has improved quite a bit, and I think that is a sign that even greater gains are in my new future.
Current Focus: Currently I’m focusing on getting to a more grounded place in my workouts. I’ve been noticing especially lately that my mind has been wandering. I really want to make the most of my time during my workouts, so I want to stay focused on me and my goals so long as I am in there.
Eating: My eating has been centred less around my gym goals lately and more geared towards stabilizing my blood sugar. When my blood sugar gets low, my anxiety starts to creep up on me. So eating frequently has been my main concern but stay tuned for a post coming up shortly about what I’ve been munching on lately!
Feeling like: Last check-in I said “I weigh the most I have ever been”. This is still true. In fact, I’m still gaining. A mind-fuck to be honest with you. I think that this is a hard thing for any person to accept. Again, I’m not saying that I’m a bigger person by any means, but when you eat well/consciously and workout regularly but the scale continues to climb, it’s difficult. It’s teaching me to love my body no matter what way it looks. Because it’s mine, it’s the only one I have and I cherish it. I feel heavier, as a person. I feel it in my face and my belly.
Fuck it. It’s only temporary. I have a beautiful life and a partner who loves me no matter what the scale says.
I might even be able to manage turning this unfortunate circumstance into the bulk of the century. When I am able to lean out, I look forward to showing off some awesome gains.
Find the positive in every negative situation and you have mastered your mind!
Until next time everyone!
4 responses to “Check in – November 17/2015”
Wow. Look at those triceps. Brilliant work.
I know how much of a fuck up it can be but you are remaining positive and just think of the awesomeness that will arise from this journey. It’s winter, we have to be a little kinder to our bodies. Softening is desirable and will give you greater gains in the long run.
I still think you are pretty amazing.
Thank you so much for your supportive response. I am just trying to keep in mind that I must be going through this for a reason. You are amazing too!!
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You will lean out sooner than you think. Keep doing what you are doing. Some medication can cause fluctuation but like you said that’s temporary. You hard work is still showing.
You’re buff! I love it! Continue giving yourself some grace. I promise this journey gets better. The anxiety is awful, but it will subside…you are on your way! Keep it up!