anxiety · mental health · personal

Anxiety made me Successful

I know you think that the title is a far stretch, but trust me, once you read this post you will be a believer.

I’m stubborn in my ways and always have been. I attribute this to my early anxiety, which manifested itself mainly in my need to control things.

Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you: I like to be in control. And of course, I hate being told what to do. Beware: If you pressure me into doing something, I might do the opposite just to spite you. Rest assured: you’ll never tell me what to do again! (cackles evily)

Joking aside, I know that a need for control certainly has its down sides. But let me tell you what it’s done for me.

It’s made me a master of having a plan. It’s made me obsessed with doing what I set out to. It’s kept me driven. Once I’ve set my mind to something, my stubborn ass just won’t let it happen any other way. One day, I set my mind to the idea that I was going to help people. And since that day, I just haven’t been able to let it go.

I believe (or at least I like to believe) that successful people must have a certain obsessive sort of stubbornness to “make it happen” – you have to be determined on a level that others have just never experienced before. You’ve gotta make a deal with yourself that you won’t have it any other way. That’s what I did – and to deny what I promised myself I would do would not only rob me of my integrity but threatens to take away one thing I’ve held dear to my heart for years (It’s my dream… mine!!!). 

My battle with anxiety has also blessed me with an incredible resilience. I can fall down and get back up faster than you can say CUPCAKES.

I fumble and fall, and then I get back up. I make it look effortless, like a choreographed dance I’ve practiced over and over again.

 

Anxiety made me stubborn, determined, resilient, and last but certainly not least anxiety has also helped me develop a really ridiculous self-deprecating sort of humour, which helps me get through the tough times. Of course, it started off more as a general feeling of utter worthlessness, but now I am able to laugh at it. Laugh in its face. And keep on going.

Just the other night I looked at Matthew and asked “isn’t it fun how every morning I wake up and we never know what kind of mood I’m going to be in? Such a thrill right?” . I face some of the worst shit and I can still laugh about it which is basically akin to any superpower I’ve ever heard of.

Thanks to my anxiety, I am successful every day. I’ve been given  fulfillment in pursuing my purpose, and putting in the work it takes to get there.

Life is more perception than anything else, isn’t it? Is anxiety hard, difficult – scary – gut wrenching? Hell yes.

But it’s also character building. And beautiful. Often downright ridiculous. And sometimes, outright hilarious.

 

Thanks for reading Strong Babes!

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4 thoughts on “Anxiety made me Successful

  1. Great read! Can’t wait until I’m able to enjoy my life outside of depression and anxiety again!! Wishing you well!😊

    Like

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