If you’ve ever struggled with mental illness, you know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the painful reality of the incredible indifference some experience about the idea of their own death. Could step out into traffic, could not.
Not caring is the worst.
There is nothing quite like experiencing apathy over your own life or death. It’s worse than pain; it’s the absence of caring at all. It is a common experience among people dealing with depression.
I think people can relate to this feeling more than they like to admit. Hey, some people feel like dying sometimes. Not in the way that they would take it into their own hands, but in that the sheer thought of it brings out no sadness, no emotion.
It’s just another thing that we’re afraid to talk about. But I’m here to keep it honest and real. We’re going to talk about the good, the bad, and everything in between.
And today, I’m going to share tips on how to keep going when you kinda sorta want to die.
Firstly, remember that you are here for a reason. The chances of you being here are slim to none, yet here we all are, blessed with the opportunity to take a few trips around the sun on this beautiful earth. Even when you don’t see meaning, even when you don’t feel purpose, know that it’s there waiting for you.
Secondly, I want you to think of one thing, even just the littlest thing, that’s worth living for. It could be as simple as a good cup of coffee, it could be as big as that trip you’ve always wanted to take overseas. But dig deep and hang on to that one thing.
Thirdly, allow yourself to be in this state, and then allow it to pass. I find the more we try to “pressure” ourselves out of feeling this way, the more it feeds our anxiety and depression. Because not being able to just ‘snap out of it’ makes us feel like we’re not good enough. It’s okay not to feel good. And it’s okay to move past it when you’re ready.
I want to encourage you not to think you are a “total freak” or anything less than normal because of this experience. It is normal. You are not alone.
So how do we overcome these feelings? Simply by getting through it. The only way out is through it.
Just like the saying: ‘when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!’
Have you ever experienced this life/death apathy? Feel free to share in the comments below!