Idolize Yourself

In the past couple of days I have been asked a few times: “who is your role model”?

The short answer is: I don’t really have one.

I used to idolize a few women in the fit community: Paige Hathaway, Dana Linn Bailey, Nikki Blackketter. Each one of those women is beautiful and strong. I spent so much time going through their photos thinking “I want to be like them” . But there is a reason that they say ‘comparison is the thief of joy’; the more you compare yourself to others, the less you focus on your own personal positive attributes. I mean, I spent months of looking at their pictures religiously and saying “someday that will be me”.

Now let me take a step back for a moment so I can explain better why and how this changed for me. Because truly, this is the actual picture that started me on my fitness journey:


Beautiful mystery woman with amazing core

This is the first picture I looked at and said “this will be me!”. I remember it seeing it for the first time so well, as I was vegging out on the couch scrolling through Instagram. I was fed up with the way I looked and felt. I believe at that moment, I took the leap into fitness and never looked back. And I don’t regret that. But what I realize now is that I will never be this mystery woman. And I will never be Paige Hathaway, Dana Lynn Bailey, or Nikki Blacketter. We are different people with different lives and different bodies. We are different, right down to our genetics. When you set your sights on being just like someone else, you set yourself up for failure. In comparing my own photo to this one, it is clear that we have completely different bodies. Mystery woman has a tinier waist, and her abs are shaped differently than mine. Her hips are also wider than mine. Check it out:

FullSizeRender (1)

My fit body, looking nothing like the mystery woman’s

There is not a thing wrong with either of our bodies, we are simply built differently. My fitness looks nothing like her fitness. My best cannot be her best. After realizing this, I decided I would look up to myself. Not myself in the present; myself in the future. I close my eyes and envision the best possible version of myself. I tell myself “that’s the woman I wanna be”. It motivates every day. It’s also a much more positive and realistic way of looking at our bodies and ourselves.

I still look at pictures of other beautiful fit women and think how amazing their lats are, or how much I envy their quads, but I acknowledge that my progress at that point might look a little different, and I’m okay with that. I’m beautiful and I’m only getting better and better.

4 responses to “Idolize Yourself”

  1. I am in awe of you and am so incredibly proud of you. You are such an inspiration to me each and every day and I am so blessed I get to know you. Reading your posts encourage me to be my best self always. This post especially about looking up to the highest version of yourself and the woman you are becoming resonated with me more than words can say. I have no competition except for my highest self and that is the motivation I needed to get myself closer to that woman I want to be. I really needed to read this today. Thank you for your words, your friendship, your love, and your compassion. Sending you endless love,


    • Becca, you writing this is so wonderful and everything to me! You are a pretty amazing version of your own dang self already – out there chasing dreams. I’m proud of you every day and I cherish our friendship no matter how near or far you are. Cheers to us continuing to influence each other in positive ways! I love you!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: